Some Things A Father Can't Handle
by Iris Musicia
Summary: Kitty has some feminine problems that Logan thinks he can help her with, much to her despair.  Good thing Ororo steps in!  Oneshot.  K  for language.


**Written at 2:35 am to express my extreme displeasure in the fact that God created blood. So that us feminine-bodied people may bleed with it. Joy.**

It was late—early, rather, when Kitty woke up. Some ungodly hour between midnight and three am. And she was very annoyed to find out that she'd have to wash her sheets and her pajamas and Lockheed, her stuffed dragon, because of stupid _blood_. Quietly, trying not to wake Rogue up, Kitty stripped her sheets off and piled them off to one side of the room to wash later during the day, Lockheed buried somewhere in the middle of the pile to avoid embarrassment.

She growled and started cursing God (or Yaweh, if you prefer) for creating blood and making girls have periods as she stumbled into the bathroom and realized she had left a blood trail from the room to the bathroom. Could this get any worse? Well, Murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will. Kitty chose this moment to profusely (sarcastically) thank Murphy as she heard footsteps coming down the hall.

"Half-Pint?" she heard Logan growl, but he was down the hall at her room. Undoubtedly following the scent of the blood. She turned the lights in the bathroom off and stood behind the door, hoping to avoid detection, but c'mon, Kit, it's _Wolverine_. You're not getting off that easily.

"Half-Pint? Where are ya?" Logan asked to the dark bathroom. "I know yer here."

"Go away." Kitty breathed, making Logan jump slightly.

"Why are you bleeding?" he asked.

"Go away." Kitty repeated, with slightly more venom.

"I'm not going away until you tell me what the hell all that blood is doing outside your body, all over the floor." Logan growled resolutely. There was a very still silence in which Kitty struggled for a non-humiliating reply. She was desperately racking her brain as there was a small '_pat'_ and she stiffened. Looking down, she saw a small, black circular mark by her toe on the white tile floor of the bathroom. _Sh*t_.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you anything?" Kitty hissed. Logan looked surprised at how angry she sounded.

"Hey, calm down, it's not that bad. If ya stepped on a shard of glass or somethin'—" Logan started to say.

"I wish." Kitty snorted softly.

"Yer not making this easy on yerself. Tell me and I go away." Logan said.

"M . . . pr . . .d . . ." Kitty mumbled through clenched teeth.

"I have good hearing, Half-Pint, but not that good." Logan snorted.

"My period." Kitty said, and froze up. Logan realized what dangerous territory he had stepped into. "Now please _get out_." Kitty hissed, and Logan left the bathroom. He couldn't help but feel like something bad was about to happen.

"_God damn_," came Kitty's voice from the bathroom. Logan went back to the door and knocked quietly. Inside, Kitty froze.

"Now what?" she growled.

"What's wrong now? I heard ya curse." Logan said.

Kitty was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She could either stay in the bathroom for the rest of the night and risk being walked in on or given a very rude awakening when Kurt teleported in for a shower, or go stagger back to her room and sleep in her dirty sheets and get more blood all over them. Her problem? Nothing: all the "feminine hygiene" products were gone. There was nothing there. She slid down the wall and let her head fall back, hitting the wall solidly, giving her a different ache to think about rather than the dull pain in her gut.

"Absolutely _nothing_. There's nothing in here." Kitty said, banging her head against the wall again.

"Do ya need me to get somethin' for ya?" Logan asked.

"Uh . . ." Kitty hit her head against the wall for the third time when an idea popped into her head. "Could you go kindly wake Jean up and ask her for something for Kitty—it's an emergency."

"Why Jean? Why not Rogue?" Logan asked.

"Just do it!" Kitty snapped at the door. She heard Logan sigh and walk off down the hallway. Just when she thought Murphy's law had taken its toll, it got _worse_. There was a soft '_bamf'_ from outside the door, and Kitty staggered into a standing position and held the door closed as Kurt tried to open it.

"Don't come in!" Kitty yelped.

"_Was? Warum? Ach . . . bitte,_ let me in. I really have to go." Kurt said, voice slurred with sleep.

"No no no no _no!_" Kitty said as Kurt's strength won out over hers and he pushed the door open.

"_WAS? ! Gott im Himmel, was ist los . . . blut? ! Au!"_ Kurt shouted as he slipped on the blood and fell, his head hitting the counter.

"Oh Jesus," Kitty cried in exasperation as she heard Logan come running down the hall.

"Elf! What the _hell _are you doing? !" he barked, probably waking another three people up.

"_I-Ich weiss nicht—_I vas going to use ze bazroom, but Keety vosn't letting me in, so I just valked in and slipped in zis . . . blood?" Kurt said, confused, one hand holding his head, the other held up in the universal "I don't know" gesture as he looked perplexed and disgusted at the blood on his clothes. Kitty gave up and banged her head against the wall again as Scott stuck his head out into the hallway.

"Whoever is banging on my wall, stop it! I'm trying to sleep! Jean?"

"Go away, Scott," Jean snapped, walking down the hall. "What's the matter?" she asked. Scott stepped out of his room.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Good qvestion." Kurt said, not bothering to get up. Kitty was thoroughly humiliated, hiding her face in her hands.

" . . . the hell is everyone doing up? It's effin' three in the morning?" Evan asked drowsily as he stumbled down the hall. Kitty was on the verge of tears. "Why is there . . . blood on the floor?"

"Gawd, will ev'r'one jus' shut up?" Rogue called from inside her room, stepping out into the doorway and blinking at the bright bathroom light. "It's a goddamn pajama party out here. What the hell?"

"No," Kitty hit her head against the wall. "No," _bang_ "no," _bang_ "no," _bang_ "no no no." _bang bang bang_.

"Good gracious, what's the matter up here?" Ororo's calm voice asked. She came into Kitty's view tying her bathrobe and looking confused and disgruntled. "All this commotion woke me up."

"Same here, Ororo, and I can't provide any better explanation." Professor X rolled down the hallway after Ororo, McCoy at the Professor's side. Kitty's tears suddenly spilled over and she hit her head against the wall again, bawling.

"_No no no no! Everyone go away!"_ she cried.

"_But what are we all doing here? !"_ they chorused.

"_Blame God!"_ Kitty shouted. Kurt was too confused to protest. She would have liked to have run crying from the room and lock herself in a very small dark room, but owing to the fact a trickle of blood was making its humiliating way down her leg, she couldn't.

"Why?" Ororo asked.

"I was just _trying_ to take care of one _tiny_ little thing, then Logan comes running down here 'cause of the blood, and then Kurt woke up and it just snowballed!" Kitty cried.

"What blood?" Ororo asked.

"_Mmph!"_ Kitty cried shrilly in exasperation, desperation, and humiliation. Suddenly, Ororo got the picture.

"Clear out! All of you!" she said sharply, waving her arms in a "shoo" motion. Most of them dispersed quickly, but Logan took longer to go away. "You too, Logan. Out!"

Logan grumbled, but went back to his room.

"Honestly!" Ororo sighed when the last doors had closed and lights gone out. She let herself into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. "He thinks he's your father, but he doesn't understand there are some things he simply can't take on."

"Hm." Kitty squeaked. Ororo handed her a pad and started mopping up the blood on the floor. When she was done, she let herself out and went across the hall and remade Kitty's bed with clean sheets as she cleaned herself up. A few minutes later she came out of the bathroom and flicked the light out, going across the hall to her room.

"You've got clean sheets now, just don't forget to wash the dirty ones in the morning. If you need _anything_ else, you know where I am." Ororo said softly.

"Thank you," Kitty said, hugging her.

"You're perfectly welcome. Good night, little one."

Kitty got back into bed and thought about what she had almost said:

_Thank you, mommy_.

XXX

XXX

XXX

**I turned it into a sort of funny/cute story coz I started feeling better, and couldn't resist. That has never happened to me, and I sincerely hope it never does or will, or I will explode. Thank God there are people like Ororo in the world, though. :)**


End file.
